Why I use A.I.

I'm not going to lie, I use A.I. Why do I use A.I.? I'm a father of 5 young children so the demands of fatherhood can be overwhelming and make it difficult to create content. I am a decent artist, but A.I. is better at articulating the imagery I have in mind, and SO much quicker. My top priority is making my children happy and meeting their needs and it just so happens that they need me right when I'm about to pick up a pen and put it to paper. At the end of the day, I'm just so exhausted I don't have the energy to use my creativity and do work. 

I use A.I. for music because even though I am a great piano player and drummer, I live in a 3-bedroom low-income housing apartment with neighbors connected in one building, and sound sure travels quickly and far in our complex. I am not allowed to have a musical instrument. As a passionate piano player, it's painful.. I miss having a piano so much. When A.I. came out, on Microsoft Suno I found a way to get help expressing myself musically. Not every song that I have had A.I. create, is obviously made by A.I. It's amazing how far technology has come just from the 80's when I was born. 

I am hard of hearing so it's to be expected that my singing wouldn't be quite so marketable. I have a very musical family, of great singers but it wasn't my destiny to join them in that rank, however... I have enough hearing to learn how to play the piano! I loved playing the piano for my family while they sang, it's a cherished memory of mine that I miss now that we've all become so distant. When I had AI write a song about the struggles I'm going through, and it vocalized it so nicely, it hit me in the feels. A.I. songs aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I don't think it deserves the hate it gets.

I use A.I. to find out what is trending in the marketplace at the moment and gear my products towards that trend. I live on Social Security disability and it's not a comfortable position to be in. A family of 7 can be more costly than the maximum limit I'm allowed and to be frank, I'm sick and tired of going broke in the middle of the month, every month. When I found Printify, and then found out I could have my products integrated over to Amazon, then found Shopify to give me an opportunity to have my very own website to sell my products all on one page, my hopes shot up sky-high. I had dreams of orders being made. I had dreams of making enough money to not be worried about Social Security benefits being taken away from me permanently, because I wouldn't need to rely on it anymore. I get some hate for using Social Security even though I have serious physical and mental barriers. I get hate for using A.I. because it is quick, easy, and people feel like it's cheating, some even call it art theft even when I'm the one doing the art and then A.I. is enhancing it in fascinating ways. I get turned down for jobs based on my hearing disability, it's illegal but as long as they don't outwardly admit it, they can get away with it. Even major state-run job agencies do it. I struggle at jobs with my social anxiety, the confusion that my hearing loss creates. A man at Alberston's was MAD at me for being hard of hearing, cause I didn't understand that he wanted TWO free bags... even complained to a manager and demanded they put up a sign that says "I'm hard of hearing." As someone who is bipolar and has depression, this hurt.. It made me feel dehumanized, singled-out, exposed, I had to quit that position because I couldn't take the pain and embarrassment anymore. I've had so many awkward moments caused by my social anxiety, my bipolar disorder, my hearing disability that it haunts my waking moments from time to time. I'm doing my best but it's just not good enough...

It ain't easy being me, to say the least, but A.I. got through barriers both physical and mental and gave me hope that I could have some way of earning an income for my family and move into a house instead of living in a cramped apartment with restrictions and stress of keeping 5 young children quiet so the neighbors won't complain to the manager and even the cops. I'm not trying to guilt trip people into buying my stuff but I would love it if people wouldn't hate on me for trying. It made me feel proud when I would hear of someone being a fan of my book, ABC HaikAnimals.. a book I had in the works for so many years but just couldn't get past the artistic brick wall due to parental demands but I did write it. I couldn't afford to have someone draw for me but with the help of A.I. I was able to come up with a product that people love. In the future, I'm going to be using my own art and always my own writing. 

I'm sad to have to quit trying to sell my merch I designed through various methods and the self-learning I've gone through with A.I., on my website but it costs too much money for me to keep my site up, and I've only had 1 sale since I started last summer. 

I'm ramping up my efforts from this point to the end of the month because I have been hit with taxes I have to pay but can't afford since I don't even get enough money to make it a whole month. Social Security claims it overpaid me by $2,000 and is demanding I pay within 30 days. Someone stole a check worth over $1,000 that was intended for my oldest child, which would've helped if we had gotten it. I'm just hit with bad luck y'all.. I had A.I. come up with some cute bags with animals on it that cheered me up and I wish I could get. I'm not quite ready to give up on this month. It's fun but having to pay the fees to keep the site up isn't financially viable.

Thank you to those who bought my book, ABC HaikAnimals on Amazon! It's still going to be sold. I still haven't made back the money I paid an editor to help me put it together due to my lack of tech knowledge but I hope it will. I was sitting on my couch one day and I was struck by inspiration on combining haiku poetry with a rhyming prose, about the ABC and animals dressed like humans doing as humans do. I started writing and it just flowed from my fingers to a notepad on my phone. It felt electric and inspired. Over the years I attempted to do the art for it by hand, but as most parents know.. the family comes first. One day I was frustrated and bummed out that I couldn't get the book made and I was hit with an idea, what if I wrote my poem into an A.I. art generator? The first picture of Annie Antelope, holding up a telescope, gazing at the night sky brought a tear to my eye. Finally.. a way to get this book done! I wrote my poem for each letter of the alphabet and each animal and I loved the pictures that popped up! No WAY I could draw that good! What was taking about 9 years to try to create, was taking a Summer to finalize. I had no idea how to make a PDF manuscript to upload to Amazon KDP so I reached out to a local editor named Chris Mole'. She loved my poetry, loved how I was able to come up with the images even if it was A.I. I felt validated, appreciated. I paid her the editor's fees to help me figure out how to make the text not cover up the pictures and she had some great ideas I couldn't have come up with. She and I wrote back and forth over a month or two, to get the book created. When I hit that PUBLISH button on Amazon KDP.. I got super emotional and excited and realized that I finally have a book published!

My brain just won't stop spinning like a hamster in a wheel, call it a curse, call it a blessing but the ideas won't stop coming. The ideas I can't execute due to a lack of time, of energy, musical instruments and other restrictions. have been overcome with the help of A.I. I'm able to just sit at my computer I bought second-hand on Amazon for $139 that can't do much but at least can do what I've done.. and make something that at least some people do enjoy. People who enjoy it are the people I just want to give a hug and a thank-you too! The people who throw hate comments my way, I just feel sad for. I think every new art renaissance has had haters. I love thinking up an image, coming up with the prompt, the filters, and seeing where A.I. comes up with. I avoid using the "Surprise me" or "Random generators" and put my thoughts into the process as much as possible. I consider my efforts to be a hybrid of the thoughts in my mind, and guiding A.I. towards the execution of my idea. I have fun laughing at the cringey mistakes it makes like extra eyeballs or limbs, creating animals that don't exist, and so many other eye-sores. I have seen some outrageous things! 

In conclusion, I'm not going to lie, but I use A.I. and I feel like it's okay. If you don't like it, fine.. but if you love it, welcome to my party!

P.S.

Talking about how much I miss the piano made me feel like posting a video of a song I played at my father's funeral. It's Enya and the piece is entitled "No Holly for Miss Quinn". I still can't play it without breaking into tears. This is for you, Dad!